Hello world! I have returned;D Its been awhile since I’ve posted a blog. I stopped after the previous post because it may have been too revealing. It was a perspective of my life that was open to the public and I was embarrassed about it. Now that I think about it, there was a reason behind opening the doors to my life. I wanted people to take note of things I go through and learn from them. My life may be embarrassing or too personal, but it’s life. It’s going to get really REALLY CLOSE AND PERSONAL. I want YOU to take what I’ve posted here and apply it to your life. Please, I don’t do this for fun :P
Anyways, I think I’ve made myself clear and you, people who naturally make mistakes, will take this and live happily, ever, after.
JUST TO KEEP IN MIND, DON’T COPY MY LIFE, DECISIONS, ETC. TAKE MY LIFE AND MAKE YOUR OWN PATH. <3
I never know if its right to post any personal thoughts online. I don’t know if it will satisfy my pain. I could tell my friends how I feel and get their advice, but I’m afraid of hurting them as my feelings hurt me. I’m afraid of letting you know of what I’m going to say now, but I feel that I need let it out to keep myself SANE.
As the world spins and the days go by, I see smiles on faces I don’t recognize and a deeper meaning in the smiles of those I do recognize. A smile is like a mask :). It hides the real truth which lies in the deepest core. They would be things from the past or of the present. Sometimes, no, often these truths hurts. I use my smile to cover the disasters in my life. Disasters such as the event that happened in my house today.
I woke up to the noise of yelling voices. Angry, sharp voices that I wished was only a dream. Unfortunately, it was a reality, a reality I lived everyday. I recognized the voices. I chose to ignore them by staying in my bed hoping to drift away in sleep. But the voices followed me into my room. There, stood my mom and brother yelling and physically showing their anger at each other. Like usual, I stood up and attempted to stop the fight. I managed to pull them away from each other, but they continued to scream. The fight continued as I laid back in my bed. I found out the reason they argued - it was reason that gave my mom the right to be angry at my brother. Unfortunately, my brother, like most teens (I speak for myself too), has no respect for the human being (mommy
) that gave him life instead of aborting him and getting rid of his existence. He lives in a fantasy world that has led him to believe that at the age of 14 he could take care of himself. The words that came out of his mouth angered me as he yelled at my mom. “I bought these clothes with my own money!” (no, the money you used was from you parents or grandparents) or “I don’t need fuckin school!” (yeah, go ahead leave school and where that takes you… and if you were my child using that kind of language with me…say your prayers) or “Bitch, don’t tell me you gave me everything!” (did you just call mom a b*tch?!? Again, if you were my child you would see both sides of my hand and my belt.) So, the madness continued. I couldn’t take anymore of his attitude, and although it would be impossible to set the mind of a teenager of his age straight, I replied to all of his BAD MOUTH. He refused to accept anything I said. Not even a small, single thing was taken in my the stubborn boy. “DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE,” I yelled, “YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE YOURSELF? THEN GET OUT.” And he left.
Frustrated and furious, I stomped to my bedroom and laid in bed. That’s when it hit me - many negative thoughts swirled in my mind. Thoughts that disturbed me as my brother’s safety became an issue. I feared for him and was held responsible for anything that could happen to him tonight. A river of tears flowed from my eyes. It’s Thanksgiving today. THANK YOU.
Through several blogs and online journals, I’ve read many thoughts and feelings of teens that share this world that surrounds me. This world that holds many wonders and discoveries. Some of these discoveries being a great experience or just
tragic. Well, now it’s my turn to expose parts of my life and emotions to the public. Whether my personal stories will be boring or adventurous, I can’t change them or modify them to fit your preferences. What I will reveal to you is my life and what makes me who I am today. Explore and experience my world<3
Comments on my posts are always appreciated:)
It’s funny how I have tons of homework, but still find the time to go on Tumblr!
Always,
Marjorie Ann Menor
